Woodbine, NJ: On this unbelievably hot and humid June Thursday morning, the ʻBreakfast with Daveʼ traveling breakfast symposium journeyed to Woodbine to visit the landmark Tuckahoe Family Diner on Route 50 in Woodbine. This unique diner, which may be the last of the actual box-car type diners left in the area, actually had a Petting Zoo in the back! Even though we could have sat all together on the Grapevine covered veranda, we opted for the inside air-conditioned comfort of two separate booths and the counter stools.
Braving the heat and humidity this Thursday to share some food, fun and memories were: Henry Weigel, ʻBirthday Boyʼ Bill Noe, first-timer Ray MacAlarnan, Paul Mathis, Eddie Jurewicz, Jim Colubiale, Paul Mathis, and a surprise ʻBreakfast with Daveʼ guest, direct from a two year MFA stint at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, AJ Colubiale, administrator and editor of the “Breakfast with Dave” blog site, who came to revisit the ʻBreakfast with Daveʼ phenomenon in the rarest of venues.
The inside of the diner teleported us back into time. We were waiting to hear Rod Serlingʼs voice telling us we are now in the Twilight Zone. Decorated with real forty-five records (remember them?) hanging from the ceiling, and actual poster ads for products, like Coke-a-Cola or Chevy literally plaster the walls. The waitress even wears a real poodle skirt! The menu offers all the basic breakfast ingredients like eggs, omelets, pancakes and french toast with assorted side meats as well. However, Dave will attest that his omelet was one of the best heʼs had in while. Two eggs any style, two pieces of meat and two pancakes ( or french toast), was only $5.95. And the coffee and tea were bottomless and great tasting.
Before we could even swallow our first sips of coffee, Dave plops a “WARNING” citation on the table that he was just issued while driving up the Garden State Stump(Park) Way. Dave then proceeds to tell us that a State Trooper was passing him when suddenly the patrol car slowed and pulled in back of Daveʼs car, eventually pulling him over. The trooper then told Dave that he pulled him over for driving while talking on his cell phone. Dave explained that he didnʼt even have a cell phone with him, and that he just had his hand by his ear. Then Jim butted in and asked if there was any “penetration” into the ear, and ʻBreakfast with Daveʻ had its first Seinfeld reference at 9:07 AM alluding to the infamous “nose pick” episode. The trooper believed him (we guess), but issued him a warning for a burnt out tail light anyway.
As the waitress took our orders, Dave asked about the Petting Zoo, and she told him that they had to close the Zoo because of their inability to keep up with all the new legal requirements for running such an operation. When a dejected Dave asked what happened to all the animals, the waitress explained that they were sold to various Zoos and circuses or some were kept as pets. Paul remarked he knew, beforehand, the Petting Zoo was closed. He’d planned to bring a goat to breakfast tied up in the back of his Ford Ranger pick-up truck for Dave to pet. Predicting Dave’s disappointment about the Zoo closure. However, the heat 86ed that idea.
When the waitress mentioned the Zoo had several monkeys, Henry pointed out that he once had two spider monkeys, King Kong and Maggie Mae, for many years while he was working with us at the Erma School of Hard Knocks. When Dave asked Henry what life was like with two monkeys around the house, Henry offered a tale. He had Kong on top of his head one day, when he and his pre-teen daughter entered into an argument over some arrangements for the up-coming weekend. Well, as the voices elevated, Kong became more and more agitated. Henry then informed the group that when spider monkeys get this way, they not only clamp down onto their perch, but they suffer from diarrhea as well. So, Henry suffered through a spider monkey shampoo! After that, we all got the picture that spider monkeys do not make good household pets.
Once the food was served, Paul asked if anyone had seen the Soupy Sales documentary the other night on the New Jersey Network. Immediately, Jim started to rattle off the characters on the show: White Fang, Black Tooth, Pookie and the Pookie Players along with Hippie the hippo. Dave remembered the time they had the naked girl outside the door as a surprise guest when he would routinely check to see who was at the door at the end of each show. If we all were not so engrossed with our food, we would have jumped up and did the “The Mouse” in the aisles! Paul pointed out that Uncle Floyd (Floyd Vivino) paid tribute to Soupy Sales in the Documentary. Uncle Floyd was one of the many performers that Eddie J brought to the stages of Lower Cape Maybe Regional for the communityʼs benefit and enjoyment. In fact, Jim has a very special memory of that night because his then pre- teen Vince went up on stage, along with Eddie Jʼs son, Brett, to be a part of a band that Uncle Floyd was putting together. After Vince selected the wash-board for his instrument, Floyd asked him if he knew how to play it.
When Vince responded that he did, Floyd asked, “What, are you poor?”
As the plates were bused from the tables, Bill circulated a picture of him with Jim OʼNeil, a past principal of the high school, who is now a Superintendant at a school in Chatam, which inspired Bill to tell a story of how OʼNeil took a State inspector out to his “garage” classroom to look it over. Due to limited classroom space in the school building, Bill, who would drink his morning coffee from a lab beaker, was allowed (along with Karl Toft) to set up his Earth Science/Marine Biology class room in an old garage outside the school. The room had the look and the feel of something out of Steinbeckʼs Cannery Row, with fish tanks, cages and artifacts encircling the desk area. When OʼNeil arrived at the room, Bill was up on the roof administering to the classʻ weather station. However, since the inspector came to see how Bill operated his lab, Bill insisted that both OʼNeil and the inspector climb up on the roof with him so that he could clarify how things worked. However, before Bill could explain what makes the wind blow, the inspector excused himself, and Bill never had another inspection. Bill just dazzled him with science!
Then, Bill informed the gathered congregation that today was his 69th birthday, and, as a true researcher, he proceeded to cite other notable figures who shared his birthdate, like Jerry Garcia and Paul McCartney. He even pointed out that the potato chip was actually named a food on this day back in the 50ʼs, which caused Jim to remind the gang that the Federal health department has officially abandoned the “Food Pyramid” in favor of a “Food Plate” because too many Americans were starting to look like pyramids! We all wished Bill a very Happy Birthday and also hoped that he has an even greater “Summer of ʼ69”.
Once the bill arrived and we began to figure out what we each owed for the meal, we had one more piece of business to settle before we adjourned until next week. Over the last two weeks, Jim has received two e-mails from a person who wants to buy the domain name, “breakfastwithdave.com”. The last correspondence suggested that he call to discuss the possibility of a sale, so after breakfast Jim did just that and spoke to the man while the collective mayhem of ʻBreakfast with Daveʼ droned in the background. The bottom line is that “breakfastwithdave.com” is not for sale, and Jim thanked the man for his interest.
The final individual tab for this weekʼs meal was $10.00 which (as usual) included a substantial tip for our very informative and attentive poodle-skirted waitress. The food was great and the good times were even better. All in all, The Tuckahoe Family Dinerʼs nostalgic atmosphere proved to be the perfect setting for this weekʼs stroll down memory lane.
-JIM C.
I had so much fun, I was there twice. Seems I was beside myself.
Yea, Baxter, the goat. Baxter loves Breakfast With Dave, too.
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I love Breakfast With Dave.
Sincerely,
Farfel