Egg Harbor Township, NJ: On this second Thursday of November, ʻBreakfast with Daveʼ, or the oldest, established, permanent floating breakfast in South Jersey, ventured up the Stumpway to break bread at the Shore Diner on Tilton Road in Egg Harbor Township before adjourning to the Tun Tavern in Atlantic City to continue the tradition of celebrating another NJEA Teacherʼs Convention. On this mild November morning, Lisa Jurewicz, Eddie Jurewicz, Lynn Massimiano, Tammy McGarrigle, Paul Mathis, Ray McAlarnen, Jim Colubiale and Henry Weigel gathered to share some short stacks and tall tales. Unfortunately, Dave could not make the festivities for this week.
The Shore Dinerʼs menu offered something for every breakfast appetite. From eggs made any which way and omelets made to order, to pancakes and french toast, the menu covered all breakfast possibilities. For those who enjoy a little of everything, several specials were offered that combined eggs, pancakes (or french toast) and a breakfast meat of choice. The coffee was fresh and bottomless, and after the nice little jaunt up the Stumpway, that first cup really hit the spot!
The hostess seated the group at a long table for eight set up in an empty part of the diner so they had an entire dinning room all to themselves. The best comeback of the morning went to Tammy who said, “Thatʼs OK, I can imagine what I would like to have” in response to the waitressʼ asking if she would like a menu. Welcome aboard Tammy!
After our orders were taken off to the kitchen, Lisa J, who is now down to 135 some odd days before she retires, proclaimed to the group that she was Ahab-like hell bent on winning this yearʼs “Brain Bowl” at LCMR. To that end, she painstakingly put together a “team” for the assault that will seal the deal for her, and she wanted Jim to be a part of this dream team as a community member. Teams are composed of students, faculty, staff, community members and selected “experts”. Jim quickly pointed out that Paul would be much better suited for a competition like this, since he is under contract from the Board of Education, he may qualify as a staff member. Lisa said she would look into that possibility, but she still wanted Jim on the team as a retirement gift for her. So, Jim agreed.
As our food was delivered, the focus of the conversation around the table turned to the firing of Joe Paterno for not going “above and beyond the law” in dealing with his then assistant coachʼs handling of children (pun intended). This whole scenario reminded Jim of the finale of Seinfeld when Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer go to jail for violating the Good Samaritan Act. Thus, we had our first, and somewhat disturbing, reference to Seinfeld for the morning.
Through the remainder of the morning meal, the conversation focused on a past LCMR superintendent, Ephram Keller, who more than likely hired all of those present except for Tammy, Lisa and Lynn. Back in those days, the superintendentʼs office was inside the school building which probably made life a little miserable for whomever the principal might be, and this also meant that “the super” could be seen at any time walking the halls. Eddie J, who talked quite extensively with him after Irma McVeyʼs funeral, reported to the group that Ephram is 94 years old and has just recovered from a stroke and is doing a well as could be expected. He then pointed out that Ephramʼs son, now working at Stanford, is a musical whiz who helped write a textbook that is still used in colleges around the country in music history classes. Sheep herding the conversation back to the past, Jim related a story about Keller told to him by Jack Connor, a then Special Ed teacher and Jimʼs running partner during eighth period. Jack taught Special Ed in a D-wing room that was divided by a floor to ceiling book case to create two separate learning areas within his room. One day, Jack broke up a fight between two of his students and sent one of the combatants off to the half by the doorway while he remained in the back part of the room dealing with the other fighter. To his credit, the one boy went to the other side of the room and sat himself in a desk even though he was still fuming over the fight. Just at that moment, Keller walked by the open door and saw this student sitting at this desk seething and pounding his fists on the table top. Keller walked into the room and confronted the boy, reprimanding him by saying, “Son, where are your books?” The kid, still seething, looked up at him and answered, “Who the f-%k are you?” According to Jack, Kellerʼs face began to glow in a brilliant hue of amber, and he left the room in a huff (or was it a minute and a huff?). Keller was not observed very much in the halls during school time after that episode.
After the dishes were cleared and we began to sip another round of coffee and tea, Henry wanted to know more about the annual gathering at the Tun Tavern during the NJEA Convention. Paul, who along with the late Jimmy Mullen, first started to make the yearly pilgrimage to Atlantic City many moons ago, told the story. In the beginning, just Mullen and Paul would travel up the Parkway to have breakfast, make a quick tour of the Convention and then belly up to a bar. Sometimes publishing companies like McGraw-Hill or Scott Foresman would have little parties in their hotel suites which were open to teachers who used their textbooks. Jimmy Mullen and Paul would kill off the better part of the afternoon at these private soirees, not to mention some pretty good booze. When Jimmy Mullen passed away, Jimmy C came on board to keep Paul company to maintain the yearly tradition. Eventually, the State mandated that teachers must have 10 “professional” hours of in-services and classes at the convention. When the site moved to its new location off the boardwalk, Paul and Jim would make the trip to take two classes and visit the Tun Tavern across the street for a “shot of courage” between classes in honor of Jimmy Mullen. Then, one year Paul and Jim walked into a nearly empty Tun Tavern after their first class to have a drink. Diagonally across from them, but hidden behind the center of the bar, was Jim Ridgeway, a ʻBreakfast with Daveʼ regular, and his wife Nancy, who had just arrived themselves for a drink or two. Without drawing any attention to themselves, Paul and Jim called the barmaid over and told her to set that couple up with another round. If they asked who bought it for them she was to simply answer “Jimmy Mullen”. Well, she did what she was told and Paul and Jim just sat back and watched. When the barmaid told Jim Ridgeway that Jimmy Mullen bought the drinks, his whole face became visibly pale, and he started looking around the bar to see who was there. Jimmy C even swears that for an instant he saw him shoot a glance heavenward. Mercifully, Paul and Jim made their presence known and J9er admitted that they got him good with that one. Then, J9er said, “Why donʼt we plan to come here every year at this time and have a drink for Jimmy Mullen.” And so, we have done just that, and in the process Paul and Jim have shared some unbelievable adventures, like the “Waiting for Ridgeway” episode where Paul and Jim waited for Ridgeway to show up at the Tun Tavern and when he didnʼt, they went out on the convention floor and asked total strangers if they wouldnʼt mind if we videoed them asking, “Whereʼs Ridgeway?”. We were amazed at the number of people who played right along with us. And yet another time, Jim and his group couldnʼt find his van that he parked at Ceasarʼs because no one realized that the casino had more than one parking garage, and they didnʼt remember which one they entered. This was a real life full blown Seinfeld experience. Since they all knew the Seinfeld episode where Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer spend the entire show looking for their car in a New Jersey parking garage, they were actually walking through the garage laughing out loud about the fact that this very thing was happening to them.
So, after paying the $13.00 a piece for this weekʼs food and festivities, the group adjourned to the Tun Tavern to see what adventures awaited them there this year.
[...] The most Seinfeld references. “Breakfast with a Side of Tun Tavern” [...]